2013…oh where do I start? There have been some highs, but there has also definitely been some lows, and this also includes with my hair! At the beginning of the year I was a new mother to my second daughter, starting over in a new relationship, and well pretty much everything was new and going somewhat well. This showed through my smile, my skin, and most definitely my hair. Fast forward to April and well let’s just say things started going downhill and with a quickness, again hair included. Anyone knows that when you are pregnant EVERYTHING grows and I do mean everything. Hair grows like wacky weeds and I faithfully took my prenatal vitamins with that in mind; in fact I was so determined to have draping hair by the time Nyla was born I ask my doctor if it was okay for me to add the Hairfinity vitamin to my regimen. Never was able to start the Hairfinity vitamins, but they are in the mail for 2014 (oh and for you pregnant ladies out there wondering what the doctor said about taking them, he assured me that it was fine to add them to my regimen while pregnant).
So moving on…my hair did grow and finally left my awful awkward stage and was long enough for me to try out the styles I had been envying for months. I still had curl envy (probably will never get over my love of Taren916’s curls and HairChime’s), but I was falling more and more in love with my own curls. I was rocking the puff, side puffs, twists, updos, and some more. I grew so comfortable in my own skin for the first time in YEARS that I started rocking my natural hair to work. Now that is where things became rather comical. One of my fellow co-workers decided to start rocking her real hair as if we were in some competition…still not sure where that came from; however, I felt pride that I was able to influence another in such a way. Rather she realized it or not she showed me the power of being me and how I could make a difference in someone else’s life. The second is of course the fact I received some hate, but it was from another co-worker who happened to be a black male who wore dreads himself. I will never understand what makes our own race so quick to reject us and for this situation it was even more confusing because obviously he had a sense of pride in himself and his culture or it appeared that way. Yet when he first saw me wearing my natural hair he had such a look of disgust and shock that I felt that if I came close to him he would vomit over everything. It went as far as him making a comment about my appearance during a very important meeting and I will admit I was embarrassed. Not so much because of the comment or the fact that I was being addressed, but simply because I became the center of attention for eighteen very important people and not for the reasons I had been hoping. I took that situation though and I grew and I allowed it to make me stronger.
Shortly after my job at this corporation ended, in the most comical of ways, and I moved on to yet another adventure, but at this point my personal life was starting to unravel and with it my professional life suffered as well. My child’s father and I started to have quite a few issues from his gambling habit, to his cheating, to my anger, and the vicious arguments that ensued due to all our issues. I started pushing friends and family away and I lost confidence in myself. As the confidence dwindled away I allowed little pieces of me to drift away as well, including the care for my hair. I became reckless and I tried to fix my personal issues through my hair. I decided to dye it this awesome teal and began straightening it like crazy. Needless to say my hair was not so appreciative of this. A slow decline began. First I noticed that the dye dried my hair out horribly. When you dye your hair an unusual color and it is not permanent dye, well let’s just say each wash or rather anything that caused moisture to your hair caused the dye to leave as well. So to resolve that issue I decided that I would just re-dye as often as needed. I’ll include a picture of the dye which I purchased from Manic Panic after watching Taren’s review of the dye on her YouTube channel. The dye worked beautifully and I have no complaints; however, because my hair was already suffering and damaged you really couldn’t admire the color. So after re-dying once myself I said to heck with it and didn’t resume re-dying it. This left my hair looking a moldy green, as my sister described it.
Following this hair trauma I decided that I would just straighten it until I repaired the damage, now why I thought this was a good idea I have no idea. After three years of being natural and educating myself in every way and fashion I KNEW that straightening my hair would do nothing but damage it more, but me and my stubbornness and desire to destroy everything in my life when I am going through personal issues I continued down this destructive road. In fact I straightened my hair so much the ends became heat damaged and when washed would not revert back to their natural curly state. So here I sat with straight ends and curly roots. Not such a hot look. So here I went again deciding to take matters in to my own hands and I decided…hmmm…I’ll just clip my ends. Well that probably would have worked out well, EXCEPT for the fact I got bored and cut my ends on different days of the week instead of using the all at once, in a normal, I want my hair to be healthy, continue to grow, and repair do it the right way method.
So after all that damage by July I had to stop and reevaluate everything going on in my life, including my destructive behavior towards my hair. The only problem was I given yet another tale spin. I discovered….drumroll please….that yes I was pregnant again! I can still remember sitting in the bathroom taking the test with my child’s father and all but passing out. Here I was twenty-eight years old, going through in every way imaginable, on the brink of a complete nervous breakdown, and expecting baby number three! One that was not planned for at ALL, in fact this little fellow (yes number three is finally my son) was so not planned for that his father left me for the woman he was cheating on me with the same day we took the test and found out the news. At that point I quit my job and functioned only in order to care for my daughters. I had a complete and utter breakdown and for awhile I wasn’t sure I was going to pull through. I am a survivor though and I did what I do best I survived. I prayed, cried, prayed, and cried and then I started my journey to recovery. I have two daughters that I must and will be an example for and now a son and the last thing I want them to think is that when life gets hard you give up. You might have a period where you have your moment of weakness, but you will get through and pull through and be better because of it. I watched my YouTube divas and I did a lot of soul searching. I have begun my journey of self-love and I cannot lie, I am so excited to see what 2014 has in store for me and my hair. I have started my own company, Aeon Virtual Enterprises, a virtual assistant business and I most importantly I have begun to love my hair again. Being pregnant this third time has helped out with that too, as the extra benefits of hair growth has brought my growth back and this time I have a whole new appreciation for the gift of my curls the Lord has given me.
I have also begun excellent care of my daughter’s curls as well and little Nyla’s curls…well they be popping! So until 2014…Happy New Year to all! Be safe & I look forward to seeing you back here next year.
So I just posted this and discovered that my last post of 2013 also happens to be my 13th post! Would you look at that! Oh and the blonde is a wig…still wanted to rock curls while giving mine time to heal. It’s quite nice isn’t it…