So why after at least five million attempts at blogging have I finally actually started blogging and started with three blogs (and steady coming up with more and more ideas)? Well you see I have finally found me and in finding me I have discovered my passions and what I want to share of myself. It feels as though a burden has been lifted off of me and I see everything so much more clearly now, but before I get too far ahead of myself I should probably slow down and explain this blog and how it ties into the entire concept that is me. Hehehe
You see on September 30, 2011 after many years of various weaves, wigs, quick weaves, partial wigs, and partial weaves I finally decided to remove the last shield I had and go out into the world completely natural. Now I know at this point I am probably loosing a lot of you and some of you are thinking “Oh here we go again, another one of THOSE natural girls.” Well…in many senses you are probably right, but hopefully for some of you I will be a refreshingly new voice to this growing trend of natural hair divas.
For years I would not leave the house without my make-up being perfectly in place and a fierce do rocking the complete package, but I began to get tired and truthfully I was tired of constantly reinventing myself to follow the current trends. I had never taken the time to get to know Shea, instead I constantly tried to invent myself into the person that I felt the people I was surrounding myself around at different times in my life needed me to be for them to like/love me. The change of not wanting to be that person (whoever the hell she was) was not overnight and has not happened in an instant. Instead it has been a gradual unveiling with quite a few obstacles for me to conqueror to really determine just exactly what I am made up of. I have been through much in my twenty-six years of living and although that may seem extremely young to some of you or even many of you once you begin (hopefully) discovering who I am now that I FINALLY know you will see that I have quite a bit of wisdom.
Now though I have all this wisdom I am not foolish enough to believe that I don’t still have much to learn and that lesson became even clearer when a younger friend showed me how beautiful I truly am underneath all of the costumes. Her fierceness, willingness to be herself, and the love she gives to her God and the herself followed by her husband and family was truly breathtaking and gives her an ethereal beauty. When I look at this friend s
he is quite beautiful to me, but what I find most fascinating about her is the peace that she radiates out to the world from within herself. I have always prayed for this kind of peace and I have finally found the path to acquiring it long term. This friend also taught me about forgiveness, one of the most important ingredients for a happy, peaceful, beautiful life and you! I have tried to turn forgiveness into one of my most favorite pastimes and in doing so I find myself actually stopping to Thank God for my new found peace or even at times I question why I feel so peaceful, especially after living so many years with anger, pain, loneliness, bitterness, and fear as my uttermost, internal feelings that I felt daily and constantly.
I also have another friend who although we are different nationalities are still one in the same and she has taught me much about living life and not allowing life to live you. Most important she has never given up on me which is important for anyone who has been through as much as me or been through anything. People being there for you and never giving up on you or stopping their belief in you can help you recover even quicker making you desire to achieve success even more. That is this friend to me. Once I make it huge after I thank God and my daughter this friend MUST be thanked because my success is due most impart due to her belief in me and seeing me for more than I saw myself in my darkest hours.
With all the mushy details being typed out now this is how I found myself deciding to go natural while discovering that I am having my second child as well. LOL I don’t regret it though, not even on my most lowest hair day when I just absolutely hate my hair. Instead of feeling imprisoned as I did before by my appearance and especially my hair I know feel such a sense of freedom that I feel as though I really can conqueror anything! Transitioning was not something I did intentionally nor was the big chop (both stories will be posted in the coming weeks), but I am so thankful that for once my procrastination and laziness has definitely paid off for something.
Now with this sense of freedom my writer’s block/creative block that I have been experiencing for the last I’ll say four/five years has finally eased and I feel such energy. Going natural is reteaching me discipline, to love my body and how to care for it. I am learning how to listen to my body, mind, and spirit learning what I truly desire and need along with some of my wants. Truly for all those who have decided to go natural or are considering going natural it really is a life altering decision if you truly want to benefit from it, that is. There is no way around it. You must be able to look in the mirror on the good and bad days and love YOU no matter what. The decision will lead you to making more positive changes and decisions while interacting with an entirely new community of intelligent, funny, attractive, inspiring women. I find strength from making the decision and sticking to it and a sense of independence. Seriously! I think that for some of us it has such a spiritual effect because of our pasts and what our hair and appearances have meant for us in the role of surviving. So with that said I can understand that not everyone will feel the same way or even have the same experience as myself, but either way I truly cannot see any harm in the decision and encourage more women of all races and nationalities everywhere to choose to just be YOU. You’ll be amazed by what you will discover you are made of and capable of.
I encourage you all to please post comments freely and honestly as I value all opinions and I love criticism, promotes growth. I also hope that some of you take lessons from some of my posts or encouragement or some form of positive something that will keep you coming back and sharing with me.