Topic #273: The Past

Everyday I wake up I know that I am waking up to a new day and that I must leave the worries and problems of yesterday there, in yesterday. But we all know that is not the reality that I end up living until recently.

I used to (and sometimes with some memories I find I still do) constantly find myself throughout the day thinking about the past or happy memories from the past or even what took place the day before and many times I simply just think about the promises that I have made to myself in the past but have yet to fulfill. No matter how I phrase my thoughts they all have (or at least had) one common theme: THE PAST! Now in this topic a question that was asked is “Isn’t this odd?” My answer to that question, “Not at all.” You see after twenty-six years of a lot of living and experiences you would NOT believe I can tell you that it is our primal and primitive instincts to use our past to keep us from making the same mistakes in our future; however, the sad truth is we do not follow our instincts therefore we end up continuing with the same stupid mistakes. These same stupid mistakes is what leads to us continually living in the past or rather backwards. That is until we finally mature out of our complex frame of thinking and embrace the lessons from the past and use them to MOVE FORWARD in our futures simply.

I do not agree with the concept that we (when I say we I am usually referring to humans) use our past to shape our futures, well do not agree is not the correct way I am wanting to say this. Let me think for a moment. Hmmmm. I do not feel that our past is what leads us directly into our future, in fact I believe that it is our past that is used as an afterthought many times. How many times have you found yourself saying, “If I had remembered my past I would not be here now,” or “I already knew this was going to happen, that was just like before I just chose to ignore the past,” or my personal favorite statement “See trying not to let the past hinder my ass here it is again slapping my ass in the face.” The past cannot be completely forgotten or disregarded, but embraced and used as a tool to move successfully into the future. We should not let the past, however, determine our futures or hold us back through fear,  rather use the past as a method to acquire knowledge.

The easiest way to do this without letting the past eat one up is to FORGIVE. Forgive those things that you may want to hide, run from, cry about, cringe about, or still embrasses you when you think about it. I have several things from my past that have led to the craziness that was my life up until four/five years ago. The hardest obstacle in my past I would say would definitely be my two mothers (biological/adoptive) not loving me or accepting me in the way the usually human would think a mother would love and cherish a daughter. Nope, not for me. The lesson I have learned this year that has helped me the most in continuing my journey into my future is the lesson of forgivness. I work everyday to forgive both my mothers and I can truthfully say I have and since forgiving them I find that my quality of life has improved signicantly and greatly! I love the way I feel knowing that I no longer harbor any anger, hurt, or resentment towards my mothers anymore. This burden does not hinder me any longer and perhaps this is exactly what this topic was referring to, the enability to forgive and move forward. Even if that person you need to forgive is yourself.


Sidenote: SO I had to edit this post because after originally posting it I was at 666 words. I know, right!

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